TYPICAL WRITING DAY.... C.L. RAVEN




MY OUR TYPICAL WRITING DAY!











We often read writers’ accounts of their typical working day and it all sounds so idyllic: they get up early, get to their computer, write a thousand words, and are finished by lunchtime then take the afternoon off to check emails or do nothing. Their office overlooks the sea, their planning board is nearby and their spouse supplies them with hot beverages and peace.

Our cold writing dungeon sits beneath a Willow tree, our peace shattered by cats leaping from the tree onto the roof and frightening us out of a scene. If we take time off, we get anxious and irritable. As for early mornings? Just because we write horror, doesn’t mean we want to inflict it on ourselves. If we got up and went straight to our laptop, our animal army would lynch us. The guinea pigs riot on a daily basis. Our army consists of 1 dog, 5 cats, 2 guinea pigs, 1 rabbit, 1 duck, 1 iguana and 2 corn snakes. Most of them are rescue pets. Two of the cats showed up one day and decided they live with us now. We found the one’s owner and they collect him regularly, but he keeps coming back. As for a spouse bringing us beverages, we’re chronically single and send texts to each other. “Bring me chocolate and Red Bull.” And the reply is “No.”

Our writing day starts with dragging ourselves out of bed (antidepressants have a lot to answer for), feeding the animal army then taking our dog and our friend’s dog out for a walk in woodlands. A lot of writers use that time to plan their novel or think of a solution. We use the time to wake up and pick up litter the public have dropped, while thinking of creative ways to teach them not to harm the environment. Plus, having a Lurcher and a Border Collie means they’re not exactly relaxing strolls. They’re usually accompanied by “what are you eating?” “Get up!” (they love rolling in dead things) “stop barking, it’s just saying hello,” and “you are not a squirrel.”

After we get back from the walk, it’s time for our morning Red Bull and party rings. For those of you who are not from the UK, party rings are hard biscuits covered in icing that are very popular with childrens’ parties and 36 year old twins from Wales. The dogs love them too. The cliché drink of writers is coffee. Ours is Red Bull. Without it, it’s best to avoid us. Canongate in Edinburgh has never recovered from a Red Bull-related meltdown. Whilst we snack, we open our Duolingo apps and try to learn Swedish. We’re going to Sweden on 16th May to do a signing in a bookshop, so we want to be able to speak a bit of Swedish. We’re also learning Italian and German.

Every other day, we clean out the rabbit, duck and guinea pigs’ hutches/shed. We do more Duolingo then let the duck out into the front garden and fill her washing up bowl with warm water. She has two ponds, but her hot tub is her favourite thing. We then clean the house, feed the iguana and finally start work any time between 11:30 and 1 p.m. One day a week we do warrior training, where we pay a personal trainer to torture us for an hour. We do not want the dreaded ‘writer’s bum’.

We write together under a joint pseudonym, so our writing process is a little different. We’ve heard of some writing partners who will take a chapter each, or divide their characters. That sounds so harmonious, so organised. So not how we work. Our process can probably be best described as ‘chaotic’. We don’t plan. At all. So if we’re writing something new, we’ll think of a vague idea, like ‘we want to write a ghost story’ or whatever brief a deadline states. One of us heads out to our writing dungeon armed with a skull print blanket and the laptop. Our dungeon is actually a shed that our best mate turned into a dungeon using fake stone offcuts from a set she was working on. She’s a scenic artist for TV and film. Our dungeon is filled with Halloween decorations, a portable heater, a mummy from another set, and a ginger cat called Theo -- the one who insists he lives with us despite having a home. He has his own chair. The mummy has the other chair.

Whoever goes out first will write a page, setting the tone, voice and idea. Then we switch. The second one will read what’s been written then continue it. We keep doing this until the end of the story. We don’t discuss what will happen next (mostly because we don’t know) and we just see where the story takes us. Shift changes are accompanied by doing flexibility stretches. Sitting at a desk all day is bad for you. Plus we’re trying to get our splits. In between redrafts we’ll whip out our phones and go on Instagram to be inspired by – and fume at – all the poledancers who are better than us. Or when we’re feeling really masochistic, go on Twitter and read all the bragging posts by authors who never seem to get a rejection. Or if they do, they never post about it. We do. We’re goths. Sharing our misery brings joy to our little black hearts.

After a story is finished, we’ll take it in turns in do a full redraft. By the time we’re ready to submit the story or publish the novel, it’s had so many edits that we can’t remember who wrote what. We don’t try to meet a set word count – we don’t need the stress – we write for as long as we have time for. Plus, most of our time is spent editing rather than writing, so setting word counts would be pointless. If we’re editing, we’ll try to finish the story, or chapter, but if we don’t, we don’t stress about it. We’d rather not be late to our polefit class.

People often ask if we ever disagree on which direction the story takes, or if we get annoyed what one of us has done to a character. The answer is no. We have no idea where the story is going until we’re writing it. We don’t divide characters, so we’re not precious over any of them. And as we can’t remember who wrote what part, neither of us gets upset if something gets cut. It doesn’t sound like it should work, but it does. We write novels, short stories, articles, comics and film scripts and it all gets done the same way.

In the afternoon, whoever isn’t on the writing shift will bath the iguana and feed the dogs. We usually shut down the laptop at about 5 or 6 p.m. If we have a free evening, we’ll happily work til 7 or 8 p.m. Our evenings are spent doing gymnastics (which we’re terrible at) polefit (which we love) going round a friend’s house to work on a choose your own adventure game we’ve adapted from our novel, Silent Dawn, or going to friends to play D&D/RPGs/board games. One or two evenings a week we have chip and film night, where we get chips from the chip shop and spend the evening with our mum watching horror films and serial killer documentaries. They’re our favourite evenings. We put the duck and rabbit to bed half an hour before sundown. Our friends are always amused when we message them to say ‘we’ll be round after we’ve put the duck to bed’, but we’ve had ducks for 21 years, so it’s normal for us. We’re also training to become polefit instructors. We really need more hours in the day. We could achieve this by getting up before half eight but we see no need to make ourselves suffer.






Every Friday evening, we host The Graveyard Shift, a horror radio show on Vitalize radio. It’s an online radio station and they let us loose on the unsuspecting public. We cover topics like films, books, serial killers and historical events. Whoever is not on the writing shift is usually researching for the show or sorting out accommodation and booking for cons, checking emails, getting work ready to be submitted and maintaining a social media presence. Or sharing photos of our cats.
At least one weekend a month, we sell our books at comic cons or horror cons. Some months we have a convention every weekend. We end up travelling all over the UK and staying in the cheapest accommodation we can find. It’s usually Travelodge or camping. If a con is three hours or less away, we’ll get up at 4 a.m. and drive up on the morning of the con. It saves money. We write full time. Saving money has become our specialty. Cons are long hours and hard work, but we’ve met so many new readers that we wouldn’t have found by staying at home and posting links online. In terms of profit margins, cons are not good but in terms of building a bigger audience, they’re great. We now have people returning to cons just to buy more books from us. That makes it worthwhile. If we’re not at cons, the weekends are just another writing day or spent teaching a friend polefit to give us practise for our coaching course. If we’re not productive, our depression worsens.

We schedule our work according to deadlines. The shortest deadlines get worked on first. If we have nothing pressing to work on, we may write a novel, edit a novel, or get started on a deadline that’s a month or more away. We edit a few of our friends’ work so will often spend days doing that, or formatting books for other people. Formatting is probably our least favourite aspect of self-publishing because it’s boring and not overly difficult, once you’ve mastered how to stop the document screwing up your page numbers.

Every year we try to visit one new place abroad we’ve never been. So far, we’ve managed Las Vegas, San Francisco, Paris, Venice and Fuengirola. We take our laptop and write travel blogs in the evenings after spending all day exploring. Our holidays are usually a disaster and these result in great travel posts. Most travel writers write about beautiful places and local food. We write about poorly placed air vents exposing Cat in the Louvre and Lynx jumping into the Seine to rescue her phone. It won second prize in a travel writing competition.




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